Okay, so I know that I haven't posted forever. I guess I could probably make a list of excuses, but I think I would rather just start a new, fresh, like I never missed a day - life is too short for regrets and excuses anyway.
DISCLAIMER:
If you don't like blogs were people get personal, or if you really don't know me and found this blog through your cousins, boyfriends, neighbors - best friend than you probably don't care anyway so stop reading because its about to get personal.
So on with the purpose of this blog. Lately, as in probably the last month or so, I have found myself on the verge of tears at least once a day (no, I am not pregnant). Although, I have only actually allowed them to surface once, while reading a book, which by the way I never do. I am constantly finding myself fighting tears that I never thought I had. I am just not a very emotional person. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have cried since I have been married, which all occurred during times of frustration. Not this time around. No sir-ee I am not frustrated - I think after much deliberation - I am just sad. I have been reading a lot lately at my job and I think the books I have been reading are all very motivational, but they always contain a lot of human suffering and I think it's getting to me. For some reason right now life seems so fragile to me, the fact that our lives could end at any minute seems so real. I just finished "Three cups of tea," which is a fabulous book, but it was so sad to read about all those innocent civilians in Afghanistan that lost so many people they loved, not to mention there land and in many ways there freedom. I can't imagine how they feel, but as sad as it has made me it has also made me really want to enjoy life, each moment, every second I have with people. I find myself just wanting to hug Savannah and Lucy and never let them go. The other night as I was closing down the pool there was a beautiful sunset and just looking at the beauty of this world made my eyes water. K, I think I am a total cry-baby. What the heck?
I have always looked at certain people in my life with awe, in the way that they wear their emotions on there sleeves. The fact that Becky can cry about pretty much anything and laugh at the drop of a dime. To see Grace cry while reading a book, and watch the way Kristine can express herself so true to what she feels. I love that about these people. I want to be one of them. Because, I think that being able to show emotion is very endearing and it allows others the freedom to do the same. Not that we have to be cry-babies all the time, but to know that its okay to feel and express emotion is something that I am starting to understand and appreciate a lot more.
10 comments:
jenny, I just found your blog through wil's and it's so fun to read about what you guys are up to! I love this post...I'm so glad you were willing to pour your heart out. I think that whole crying thing must come with parenthood, because I feel like that sometimes too. SO good to see/read about you guys!! I'll try and get your email so I can send you my blog link too.
Well, Three Cups of Tea isn't exactly a book that makes you feel lighthearted. Sometimes it seems like we can't make a difference with everyone so why try. Anyway, don't worry, I feel like an emotional roller coaster sometimes too. I actually found myself on the verge of tears the other day for no reason at all. Maybe we're on the same cry schedule. We should talk. I was intrigued to read about your sex wisdom on Kristine's blog...please share!
Jenny I loved this post. You are so awesome and such a neat person. It's okay to be emotional! It's good if beautiful sunsets make you emotional or a good book. I am the same way! 3 cups of Tea is my next book to read, I can't wait. Love ya Jen
Loved the post! I think just about every mom can relate to you here, that's for sure! I seriously have times like that when I wonder what my problem is, but feel so justified the next time I get all teary. Kinda funny. Can't wait to hang out soon!
Jenny, all I can say is that I love you! Thank you for sharing and putting yourself out there. You are one of my heros, and I am so proud of you and that you have been crying. I need to work on that.
congratulations on wearing your emotions on your sleeve! it feels kind of good huh? maybe not all the time but to be able to just let go is something that i love. i am glad that you appreciate people like me who do wear it out on their sleeves. it helps to know that it is appreciated. i love you jenny. and i am excited for you to be able to cry you have wanted to for a while. let it out girl!
I must be a cry baby too because i kind of got teary eyed while reading this. I totally know how you feel about wanting to never let your girls go and just realizing how precious they are and how precious life is. I have come to this realization many a time since i had Quin. I think it is the whole motherhood thing that makes our emotions weaker...or maybe stronger since they are more apparent now.
It is hard to put personal blogs on here, I think I'm going to take my one about Tom off pretty soon, it is just really good to get it all out. And here's what you need to do ... watch a movie, The Notebook or ET or whatever movie it is that makes you cry, come on, there's got to be one, and just sob. I think it feels so good every once it a while. I always used to make fun of my mom for crying so much, and now I do it too. My brothers will look over at me during interviews on the Olympics or sadly, even some commercials and I used to get really embarassed, but whatev, they're just tears. It's good to feel stuff. It was good to see you the other day at Katie's party. It's never often enough that we see eachother!
Jen I love this post. I haven't looked at your blog in forever and I almost cried reading your post. I've the same way as you recently. I just seem to find myself crying much more than i used too. I think Taylor wants me off these drugs :) Love you tons!
Jenny,
I am so glad I found your blog! I can't get over how gorgeous your children are. WOW!
Ryan and I read Three Cups of Tea together and both cried. You're not a basket case by any means. I'm just finishing that Eat, Love, Pray book and love it! I don't know if you've already read it, I know it has been a big read this last year. But, I think you'd love it. I thought it was about food, and I thought, " I do not want to read another food book!" They are all the same. Not this book though, it is not a food book - I've really enjoyed it.
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