Okay, so I know that I haven't posted forever. I guess I could probably make a list of excuses, but I think I would rather just start a new, fresh, like I never missed a day - life is too short for regrets and excuses anyway.
DISCLAIMER:
If you don't like blogs were people get personal, or if you really don't know me and found this blog through your cousins, boyfriends, neighbors - best friend than you probably don't care anyway so stop reading because its about to get personal.
So on with the purpose of this blog. Lately, as in probably the last month or so, I have found myself on the verge of tears at least once a day (no, I am not pregnant). Although, I have only actually allowed them to surface once, while reading a book, which by the way I never do. I am constantly finding myself fighting tears that I never thought I had. I am just not a very emotional person. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have cried since I have been married, which all occurred during times of frustration. Not this time around. No sir-ee I am not frustrated - I think after much deliberation - I am just sad. I have been reading a lot lately at my job and I think the books I have been reading are all very motivational, but they always contain a lot of human suffering and I think it's getting to me. For some reason right now life seems so fragile to me, the fact that our lives could end at any minute seems so real. I just finished "Three cups of tea," which is a fabulous book, but it was so sad to read about all those innocent civilians in Afghanistan that lost so many people they loved, not to mention there land and in many ways there freedom. I can't imagine how they feel, but as sad as it has made me it has also made me really want to enjoy life, each moment, every second I have with people. I find myself just wanting to hug Savannah and Lucy and never let them go. The other night as I was closing down the pool there was a beautiful sunset and just looking at the beauty of this world made my eyes water. K, I think I am a total cry-baby. What the heck?
I have always looked at certain people in my life with awe, in the way that they wear their emotions on there sleeves. The fact that Becky can cry about pretty much anything and laugh at the drop of a dime. To see Grace cry while reading a book, and watch the way Kristine can express herself so true to what she feels. I love that about these people. I want to be one of them. Because, I think that being able to show emotion is very endearing and it allows others the freedom to do the same. Not that we have to be cry-babies all the time, but to know that its okay to feel and express emotion is something that I am starting to understand and appreciate a lot more.
